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Mr. M
10/18/2015 10:29:08 pm
You've done a good job in explaining how bad this invasive species is. It seems to be growing out of control and is narrowing the waterways which will affect many things. Your script was revised but those changes never made it into your final video. Why was that? Did you run out of time? The revised VOs were better and so your script grade is going to be higher than your video grade. Both the video on your website and the video on my portable drive are the same so I'm guessing you just didn't have the time to make those changes. I'd still like to see those newer VOs redone and inserted into your project. Another area to improve on is your choice of video clips. The beginning shots don't look like a river and it's hard to picture canoes paddling on it. It seems more like a stream or something way smaller. That shot of the ladies to start is great but since there's no explanation of why it's there, it now seems out of place. If your intro mentioned something about volunteers cleaning it up, then it would match. But you go straight into talking about the river with no mention of that so I think it should be moved to later in your story when it matches. Those first few clips need to show more of the big river. Also, I noticed that you mention the word pond instead of river quite a few times. I think you mean river instead of pond. People aren't using canoes in the fish pond, they are using them on the river. Interviews are shot well although I do see the need for your camera to get at the same level as your subjects. Pepe's interview looks like it was shot at a lower angle. They are lit well though and audio from them are fantastic. I wish you'd show me more of what the mangrove looks like though. I think you added a shot but I'd like to see more of it. I also don't like the sped up shot of the tractor. I don't see the need for it. It's not long enough to condense clearing out a huge mess of the mangrove so it doesn't seem necessary here. The VOs also need to be clearer. There are times where Dalson mumbles his words and it's hard to understand what he's saying. I'd like you to go back to this project and make those changes to make it better. Overall a good story but it could be better. I'm giving this a 3.5 which is a solid B+. Leave a Reply. |
AuthorFor this quarter's project, my partner Dalson and I are doing it on the invasive plant, the red mangrove, which has caused problems. Check out this page for any updates I post. Archives
October 2015
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